We hear a lot about ‘first impressions’ or ‘gut feelings’.  And we seem to put a lot of stock into the first thoughts we have on something.  So often we seem to think that our first thoughts are most likely the correct thoughts or the most genuine of thoughts.  I find this notion rather troubling.  It is often not until I have considered something for a while, even a few seconds that I am able to give my real opinion on something new.  More than that though, my first thoughts are often knee jerk reactions, sometimes unkind or not reflective of my ethical code. 

I think generally our first thoughts on things don’t actually say who we are.  It is what we think next that is the true indicator of our moral framework.  Our second thought is who we have chosen to be, despite our systemic biases or baser instincts.  Because that is what our first reactions and thoughts are, base instincts.  Maybe it is just me, but I often feel like my first reactions come from my id and my second thoughts come from ego or superego. 

Hate, revenge, greed, jealousy – these are all baser feelings that we many if not all of us feel at some point or another, and likely more often than we like to admit.  But reconciliation, generosity, kindness – so often these things require work.  They are a choice.  We choose to be anti-racist, to be an ally, to work for restorative justice.  These things are not instinctual, they are our better selves making an active choice to rise above our animal fears. 

Our instincts have a place, they help keep us alive when we are threatened.  But they also can tell us we are threatened when we experience anything that is new or different.  Human society has evolved past the need to fear ‘the other’ a long time ago, and it has been a struggle to catch up. 

We need to stop telling ourselves that the first and often worst reaction is the true one.  Some people seem to have just accepted that as both true and right.  But ethics and moral codes tell us who we are despite any instinctual reactions we may have. A person may be against the death penalty but also think ‘that person deserves to die’ when they hear about violent crime.  It is the choice to be against the death penalty, and the decision to stand by that choice, regardless of any thoughts of vengeance. 

I think it may be inevitable that our id gets the first word, but we get to choose what truly defines us.